Apartment Brawl

It had been awhile since Carolyn Monroe and I had hung out together. Still, she'd been over to my place at least a thousand times before and it seemed unnecessary for her to ask why I have silver tinsel decorating my table lamp. Not only did it seem unnecessary, it actually appeared that the question might have been intended as a pointed insult. Here I'd been expecting Carolyn to relax and swill a few beers with me, and instead I found myself fielding queries about my furniture. I'm not a decorator. I didn't even put that tinsel there for effect. Somehow it ended up on the lamp after a drunken night of debauchery when I was dancing around with the shade on my head. Carolyn knew that already. Was she trying to make me feel self-conscious about my excessive drinking? Why would she attempt the impossible? Who cared anyways? I was already one sixpack into my evening and a little liquid courage always helps when you have the inclination to bash someone's head into your industrial carpet. Know what I mean?


Visit my Fantasy Image Store to buy the whole gallery and see which busty blonde triumphed in this devastating apartment brawl!



- XXOO Tanya






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The Monty Bar

There's a bar called Monty's on West Seventh Street in downtown L.A. It has no windows and you can't see the interior when you are standing on the sidewalk even though the door is always open. The signage outside advertises cocktails, sports TV, and pool. Monty's is in kind of a rough area and it was hard to guess exactly who might be in the place. It could be workers from the numerous construction sites in the vicinity or it could be Mexican gangbangers. Maybe it's an array of people strung out on heroin they purchased across the street or it's a bunch of cops who get together after work. It could also be Crips, Bloods, or grandmothers knitting. The only way to find out is by walking in there.

The place was calling me. Why does that always happen? Little dingy bars with wood-panelling have a way of doing that. There was no way I could know that it had a wood-panelled interior, but yet I was certain that it did. Finally I proved myself right by going in there last Friday afternoon. About eight people were inside the wood-panelled room which happened to be bigger than I would have expected. There was a jukebox against one wall and five pool tables lined up on the concrete floor. A few of the patrons were playing pool and the rest were seated at the bar. Most of the conversation in the room was in Spanish. The bartender sized me up from a distance and maneuvered towards me in a somewhat laborious manner. At first I thought she was pregnant, but then it appeared that her gait was the result of some type of injury. I asked for a Stoli on the rocks and she asked me for my ID.

My Stoli cost $4.50. I sipped it and stared at the TV while the other customers tried to figure out what I was doing there. Something about their manner indicated that they were not accustomed to seeing many strangers in the place. Or maybe they just weren't accustomed to seeing many unescorted white women in the place. A large Hispanic woman in tight clothes came near me to retrieve her bottle of beer. She looked me squarely in the face and gave me a disdainful smirk before returning to her pool game. Her apparent assessment of me reminded me of one made by a similar large Hispanic woman a number of years ago. I had been leaving a bachelor party at which I'd been dancing when a woman had arrived at the residence. She kept looking me up and down and saying, "Oh, there's the little ho you had for the party" in a loud, derisive manner. I had been wearing a skintight, hot pink dress with 5" spiked heels. Today at Monty's I was wearing a baggy T-shirt and workout pants..

How did this episode end up with me squaring off in a boxing ring with Francesca to keep my dignity?? Join www.TanyaDanielle.com now to read the story and see the full gallery!



- XXOO Tanya







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Strippers Have Their Day in Court

Holly Body and I had a court date on the same day. Turns out we both had some issues with reckless driving. We'd never met before, but we got to chatting in the courtroom when the judge took a brief recess. Holly's conservative apparel could not conceal her firm, full 38DDDs. I wondered aloud why she had not been able to sweet-talk her way out of the 115 MPH ticket she'd received on Interstate 10. Holly rolled her eyes and said she could not even stomach the idea of flirting with some nimrod cop. Wow! It was like we were sisters separated at birth! I invited Holly back to my apartment after we had both paid $1000 fines and been sentenced to hundreds of hours of Caltrans highway work. Upon arrival at my place I was very much looking forward to openning up a bottle of cheap wine and kicking back. The moment was shattered when my new friend Holly started becoming rude and sarcastic. Among other things she even asked me if I always dressed like a dowdy schoolteacher! There was no way that I was going to take that kind of shit in my own home so I ripped off my suit jacket, squared my shoulders and prepared to do battle with my 36DDs. Holly and I agreed to a no-holds-barred sexual test of wills in which the first woman to make the other one cum would be the WINNER..


Join my archive site www.JackOffLand.com now to find out which of us emerged victorious!


- XXOO Tanya








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Black Dahlia

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Snobby Stacy

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The Defiling of Jake

There had been a long line of transgressions in Jake's recent past: his failure to complete simple tasks in exchange for free room and board, the fist he had smashed into my windshield during a night of drunken revelry, his hanging out with crack-smoking degenerates at the Traveller's Inn in Inglewood, etc. Finally I had had enough and subjected him to a brutal attack featuring blows to the head, rear naked chokes, triangle chokes, mounted lion chokes, the dreaded leg scissors, and a multiplicity of other tortures..


Join www.JackOffLand.com to see the entire brutal gallery now!



- XXOO Tanya










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Russian Mafia

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Rude Awakening

I live in an old building that has lots of deferred maintenance. Recently a plumbing problem in the bathroom of one unit caused the ceiling of the unit below it to cave in. Now I am hampered by thoughts that one day I'll be using the toilet only to go crashing through the floor and land in the apartment beneath me with my underwear around my ankles. My roommates both think my fears are funny. One of them laughed aloud about the subject and said: "Sure takes the fun out of shitting and reading the newspaper, doesn't it?" His girlfriend and I looked at him with disgust as he collapsed in gales of laughter. Eventually she started laughing right along with him. No one seems to understand how this absurd notion is keeping me up at night. It really is costing me sleep. The other day I was so tired that I threw a sheet over Mike Raffone's signature teal couch and fell fast asleep during a shoot. Shannan Leigh was the other model and she attempted to wake me up. I felt someone pulling on my arm and didn't know where I was for a moment. For an instant I thought the plumbing nightmare was really happpening and I was descending through the air into the apartment below mine! Too late I realized that it was Alexis lifting me off the couch with her superhuman strength so I would continue with the shoot. She was imperious, angry and already gaining the upper hand in what would prove to be a really nasty catfight..

Join www.TanyaDanielle.com to see the full "Rude Awakening" gallery now!

- XXOO Tanya

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Savage Cherokee!

Cherokee came over last night on the pretext that she wanted to help me out. She had seen the previous Tuesday's photos of Kim Chambers and myself battling on my site at www.JackOffLand.com . Cherokee told me she wanted to show me a few moves that I could use the next time I got into a fight. I pointed out that a 4'11 doll such as herself really needn't worry about such things as fighting, particularly since someone of her size was only equipped to take on a kindergartener or an age-shrunken Alzheimer's patient, and that I really didn't need to learn any new moves anyways. She pointed out that an aging fatso like me better learn to bust a few new moves, particularly since I looked like I was stuck in a time warp with my bleached hair and overly large breast implants, and that I was a tacky slob who evidently hadn't changed my dress since I fought Kim Chambers. As soon as her words registered I grabbed two handfuls of her hair and prepared to subject her to the worst torment of her life. Suffice it to say that Cherokee was much stronger and more vengeful than previously anticipated, and that neither of us wears underwear..



Join www.JackOffLand.com now to see who triumphed in this dirty battle!


- XXOO Tanya










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The Hokey Pokey: Part 1

"What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?"

I stared at that message for an hour on the 405 freeway as I slowly made my way into the San Fernando Valley. It was on a bumper sticker affixed to the car in front of me and it was a valid question. Every time I tried to stop thinking about it my mind would find another angle of the issue to examine. Life really could be as much about the hokey-pokey as anything else. I tried fruitlessly to remember all the lyrics of the hokey-pokey song. It was a song, right? What exactly was the hokey-pokey anyways? It was a dance, right? Is it still a dance? Does anyone remember that song besides me? Evidently so, given the fact that someone made a bumper sticker to commemorate it. Or was their hokey-pokey different from my hokey-pokey? I didn't even really remember what my hokey-pokey was. I kinda sorta did, but I wouldn't have wanted to bet money that I was entirely correct.

It was eery how long I was behind the car with the hokey-pokey sticker. For a short while I became nervous that the driver might be going the same place I was. It would have been downright unsettling if the person turned out to be a friend of cameraman Mike Raffone. Fortunately the driver continued going straight as I turned on to Mike's street. I parked and headed into the shoot with my bag full of stripper gear. On this day I'd be shooting a sex scene with sweet, sexy Cherokee.

The scene should have gone well because I love working with Cherokee, but I could not shake off the hokey-pokey conundrum and enjoy the sex. She started getting mad and our scene quickly degenerated into a busty battle for supremacy..


Who won this impromptu catfight? Join my archive site www.JackOffLand.com to find out!


- XXOO Tanya









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